When I heard the temperature was going to be 70 degrees last Friday, I knew right away what I wanted to do. So, I devised a thorough plan that supported my desire to soak up every moment of sunshine. That plan not only included my favorite food and snacks, but my favorite place to sit during warm days – outside on our patio. And that plan was executed successfully. I mean, dinner could have been better, but I fully enjoyed that Friday afternoon.
Then came Wednesday. Ugh.
Listen, I am no expert on the weather. However, I am fully aware that we have false springs. I knew it would snow again. I was aware of it. Something about the snow coming out of the sky after a beautiful day like Friday, throws me into a rage. It never fails, I become moody, and my thoughts spiral around this one question. Why do I live in Michigan? I have the answers to this question, but they don’t seem to be helpful to my irritation at the time. I want to see the sun and feel joyful. In line with this time of year, it just kept on snowing.
As much as I wanted it to stop, the problem is, I can’t control what it’s going to look like outside. Grief is a lot like the weather, isn’t it? It’s completely unpredictable. There could be a stretch of sunny days and then the snow could appear once again. As frustrating as that is, experiencing grief doesn’t have to become debilitating. And I’m not sure if you noticed, but the more you try to push grief away the more intense it becomes. So instead of letting grief catch you off guard, develop a coping plan to aid in managing your grief symptoms.
A grief coping plan can include the following:
- Journaling or coloring
- Connecting with nature by walking or hiking
- Talking with a trusted person or therapist
- Participating in a grief support group (Rootead has one!)
I should probably do better at planning for the less warm days as well. Hoodies, slipper socks and chili does seem to slightly help to deter my negative mood during the “sprinter” season. Planning for that does take more initiative than sunny days, I’ll admit. AND it’s necessary for my own sanity. Not to mention, having a plan to lean into will stretch my capacity for tolerating these snowy and cold days while at the same time teaching me patience…until I can move to an island.